First Year of Graduate School; Reflections

 

First, let me say happy new month and welcome to August. Is it just me or this year is moving at a speed I cannot quite understand. I love it though.

 

To be honest, I have been experiencing writer’s block for a loooooong time (I used to be a good writer and I am trying to revive that part of me that seems gone) and one of the reasons I started this blog was to try to snap out of it, but it has not been easy. I thought to myself, just do it, but I find myself overthinking what to put out there and what not to.Toward the end of July, I said to myself that I must post something on my blog by the first day of August, but alas, procrastination and overthinking got the best of me. So, here I am on the second day of August, writing about the first thing that pops up in my mind and putting it out there without overthinking it. Progress, right?

 

Now, back to the matter. Some people might say that the first year of graduate school is the hardest, not necessarily in the technicalities (because to be honest as you progress in your research, it does get tougher), but in the newness, especially for international students like me. And I agree with them, as I began my Ph.D. journey as a first-year student in another continent, nobody told me about how challenging that would be. I am not even referring to just the academic challenge (that’s also part of it) but also to the mental, emotional, and social challenge. ‘Culture shocks’ are definitely a thing and it goes beyond people holding the doors for you or saying thank you to the bus drivers or cars waiting for you to cross as you strut down the roads. For me, transitioning from a system where my professor had to tell me what to do to a system where I literally had to take initiative and drive the conversation myself was my greatest Achilles hill. I love being told what to do (well, sometimes; or should I say I had gotten used to being told what to do); making decisions myself and driving the wheels for my PhD was a discussion my advisor had with me and to be honest it was (still is) very scary, but I am doing it, one decision at a time, one day at a time.

 

Being an overachiever, one of the things I told myself before starting graduate school was that I wanted to graduate with a perfect GPA even though the GPA is not so much of a big deal for a PhD degree, I still wanted that because in my books, whatever is worth doing at all is worth doing well. Well, I decided to take it one year at a time and focused on getting a perfect GPA for my first year and I did. Was it easy? No, it wasn’t. But was it worth it? Yes, definitely! It took some ‘burning the midnight candle’ and crying though…lol. I vividly remember the day I had a therapy session with my Uber driver. All she had to do was ask me how my day was going, and unintentionally I started ranting to her because I really was having a bad day. It seemed like everything was due that week and I was breaking down. Did it get better? No, not exactly. But did I learn to manage things better? You bet I did. 

 

I say all this to say that my first year of graduate school wasn’t perfect, but it went great. While there were bitter and sour moments, I had plenty great moments as well. I love my lab and I am enjoying my research. In particular, I am grateful for the community at Purdue, and especially the Nigerian community here. It made a huge difference in my social adjustment. I am grateful for a very supportive family and friends because trust me navigating a PhD program with a supportive community is a game changer. Lately, I was thinking and saying to myself 'Purdue finally feels like home'. I remember when I was trying to decide where to go for graduate school among my multiple offers. After picking Purdue and even up to the point where I resumed, I kept asking myself if I had made the wrong decision. I started thinking if I would probably have a better experience in one of the other programs. Therefore, I am really ecstatic that I can finally call Purdue home and although the program is tough and challenging, I am really happy and enjoying my stay here so far. 

 

To all incoming graduate students, I pray and wish you great experiences. Always remember that you are enough and you have got this. Take it one day at a time and learn to always ask for help. The journey is definitely worth it.

 

With all my love,

The Pharm Scientist 💜